The Wife Isn’t Old Today…I Don’t Think

The Licata Family

It’s my wife’s birthday today. I’m older than she is, so there won’t be any wisecracks about her age. Anyway, I really believe that you’re only as old as you feel, which makes today even more confusing for her.

As parents of young kids, we live in a cloudy funk of blended days. They are blurs of consciousness, sort of like that scene in Old School when Will Farrell gets shot with the tranquilizer gun…

The scene cuts off short, but half the time I walk around with that Simon & Garfunkel song playing in my head… “Hello darkness, my old friend…I’ve come to talk with you again”…

What I’m trying to say is, having kids will make you feel old. They’ll make you feel old physically; “get me milk”; “I wanted ketchup, not mustard”; “hold me, hold me, hold me”, and they’ll make you feel old mentally as you see them getting older. It’s like they’re tied to this string on one end and you’re on the other end. They take a step, you get a gray hair. They put together a three-word sentence, you form a wrinkle.

So, yeah, having kids will make you feel old. They’re high-maintenance, needy little freeloaders. They take and take and take, and it seems like the only thing they give is boogers and dirty diapers. But every once in a while something amazing happens…

They come up and give you a hug. They plant an unsolicited kiss square on your lips. Granted, that hug probably came with a fully-loaded diaper and they definitely delivered some of the aforementioned boogers with that kiss, but sometimes I like to count intentions and not results.

And when they pull out the less-durable, modern-day version of that awesome toy you had growing up and they ask you to play with them, how can you not feel young again?

You really do get to relive your childhood when you have kids. And even though it doesn’t completely eliminate the old person responsibilities you accumulate, it does let you forget them for a little while. And that works, too, because the older you get the more you forget.

I guess you can say they give us more than those diapers and boogers, and even more than those hugs and kisses, too. They make us aware of one of the most important lessons there is. The one about enjoying life and being happy, about living with your all and laughing often. They are the ones who can do all that and still sneak in some time for hugs and kisses too. They are the examples to follow.

It’s my wife’s birthday today. If you see her, wish her a happy birthday, because she deserves it. And tell her she looks outstanding, because she does. But whatever you do, don’t ask her how old she is….because I don’t know if she’d know how to answer you, anyways.

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